More People Are Going to Make Money Off of Contentious Joint Custody Arrangements *Update* *Updated Again*

 The other day I got an email saying that the coparenting app I have been required to use by the court is no longer going to offer a free option. I've discussed how coparenting apps are not really an answer to high conflict divorce and custody arrangements. There's no app that can substitute for someone deciding to get help for their mental and emotional imbalances and disturbances. It's bad enough that courts require parents to use these apps (and pay for coparenting classes that teach inaccurate information about domestic violence and coparenting), but it' worse that they require abuse victims to pay for them. There are quite a few people who do make money off of courts' naive custody decisions. This isn't a problem with capitalism, it's an ethical problem when it comes to individuals and companies profiting off of unsafe and unstable custody situations. The more unsafe and unstable custody arrangements there are, the more money these classes and apps make. If the more stable parent received full custody when the other parent is abusive or unstable, these people would lose money. Safer custody arrangements don't make money for these businesses and it's arguably not in the interests of these businesses for safer custody arrangements to prevail. I don't think the prevalence of unsafe coparenting orders are motivated by money. I think they are motivated by a naive desire to believe that there aren't really any bad parents and that all the conflict can just be handled with classes and technology. But if you end up paying for your ex to harass and verbally abuse you with an app, that seems to be the current definition of good coparenting according to courts.

Update: I recently got an email from my coparenting app. It said something like this, "We know that seeing a message from your coparent can be stressful, so we are hosting a free webinar on using the BIFF method to deal with it!" Let me break this down: They know that some parents are using their app to harass, bully and intimidate the other parent, but the answer isn't to limit the bullying parent's interaction with the other parent and the children, the answer is that the bullied parent needs to be more accommodating and tolerant of the bullying. As long as there is a free webinar, it's OK.

Another Update: It seems I didn't realize that yet more people are making money off of court ordered joint custody arrangements. I got yet another email notification from my coparenting app about yet another coparenting event. This email spotlighted the divorce coaches who would be running the webinar, which would be a "crash course" in "radical acceptance, grief and the path toward healing". They get paid to run workshops and webinars about contentious coparenting and work with contentious coparenting couples by preparing them for hearings and financial planning. They don't seem to have any background in the diagnosis or treatment of mental illness, intimate partner abuse or domestic violence advocacy. It seems like the perception on the part of the people running this webinar and the messaging service is that the problem with high conflict coparenting is just that the parents need to grieve and heal, not that abusive parents need limits and treatment. Well, it looks like my hard earned money is paying people to work with others on how to avoid the real problems in custody and divorce.